Nha Trang and the worst shave ever....

As mentioned in the last quick post we are now in Nha Trang ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nha_Trang) and I have just had the worst shave ever.....

Before I get to that I should explain that Nha Trang is a bit of a touristy beach resort and therfore a bit like Majorca (I have never been to Majorca but from what I have been told it has the same feel) but we aren't here for long, we catch the overnight bus tomorrow to Hoi An where we will stop for a few nights before doing a crazy double bus journey to Hanoi (first bus 6 hours in the morning from Hoi An to Hue and then leaving at 5pm and staying on the bus until 6am the next day waking up in Hanoi - almost 24 hours of bus - hell. But we want to get to Hanoi a.s.a.p so we can arrange some relaxing tours to Sapa and Halong Bay)

Anyway, the worst shave ever........you can't make this stuff up you really can't...

I hadn't had a shave in about a week and it was getting a bit too hot for a beard. It had crossed my mind to go and get one done in a barbers or something as a bit of a novelty, and then yesterday we bumped back into some Australian fellas we had first met in Saigon and one of them had went to a place for a shave and said it was really good and it was really cheap. A recommendation I thought, it's a safe bet, - I'll do it, I will go and let someone who doesn't speak english run a straight razor over my face for two quid. What a good idea.....

When I imagined my first shave in a barbers I imagined a big elderly plump fella with a very tidy moustache, perhaps some kind of dress trousers on, a smart shirt, perhaps a pair of braces on, definitely some form of apron and of course, a courteous manner and happy demeanour. I also expected the shave to last for about oh, 10 minutes tops.

The person I got to do my shave was a very short girl who must have been about 20 years old at the most, who didn't speak english, had hairy armpits, she wore jeans and a vest top that had seen better days. The "shave" took about 45 minutes.

With hindsight I am now thinking that she didn't actually work at the "salon" and her job description or professional training may have not included "shaving faces". Or indeed anything to do with touching faces.

She was able to find my face though and after a quick rub of it with some cold water and moisturiser she was ready for the shaving foam and spread it all over my beard....unfortunately my nose and my lips as well. To her credit however she did attempt to wipe those bits back off with a cloth that smelt like it had been last used to clean her motorbike.

The fact she wasn't a plump jolly man or the fact that she has made a bad start with the shaving foam I kind of put to one side and thought - "well, these things are small details, I will close my eyes and relax and enjoy the unrivalled feel of a warm, sharp razor effortlessly cutting through the hair and leaving my skin baby smooth. She can't possibly get this wrong!"

I was wrong, she got it spectacularly wrong. The razor was cold, blunt and had probably been used during the war for making tunnels. Not only that but she clearly hadn't had explained to her the basic rule of shaving that every 10 year old boy learns from their Dad in preparation for adulthood - Don't shave against the grain. She was prepared to rip in any direction to see what would happen.

This girl was more of an artist than a scientist I would have said and she definitely had her own style and no structured plan or procedure - chopping and chipping away at a bit of hair - finding it a bit too difficult and then leaving that bit and moving onto another bit. I am a pretty patient and polite person but when she started to cut sideways with this blunt razor into my moustache I had to tell her to stop and showed her how to cut properly. I should have called the whole thing off there and then but for reasons unknown I decided to stick it out and it was simply dreadful from beginning to end. (to top it all off about half way through all the electricity went off and the room became unbearably hot - another member of staff stood for ten minutes fanning me to keep me cool)

The only positive thing was that she didn't manage to cut me - but considering the razor she was using she would have had a hard time cutting a banana let alone my jugular.

When she had finished she threw some truly disgusting aftershave on my face, gave me a 4 minute head rub and then decided that it was a good idea to try and over charge me - after agreeing 60,000 Dong at the start the new price was 100,000 Dong. (30,000 to the pound) I looked at her with disgust, thought about telling her that it was the worst shave ever and not paying her at all. But in the end I paid her 60,000 and decided against telling her - it's all part of the experience and to be honest I don't see her ever shaving someone's face ever again after today. She looked a bit shocked - as did I. As did the French fella who was sitting at the door watching the whole thing.

I will be shaving myself next time unless I can locate the fat jolly fella with the moustache. If anyone knows where he is please let me know.